Re: “Why Women Have Totally Unrealistic Standards for Men, Dating and Marriage”

Re: “Why Women Have Totally Unrealistic Standards for Men, Dating and Marriage”

I was recently sent a link to a video with the above title for review. If you want to see it yourself, it’s here: The speaker went IN on women,…


42 Replies to “Re: “Why Women Have Totally Unrealistic Standards for Men, Dating and Marriage””

  1. I took tremendous issue with a lot of what Mrs. Pope said and I will tell you why, especially in regards to her previous matchmaking business:

    1) People do not pay a matchmaker to find them the same thing they could find without having to pay a matchmaker. The number of people who go to matchmakers are very small because paying to find your right match is somewhat of a strange idea to begin with and the people who do it know they are going above and beyond.
    Women don't pay matchmakers to find them the boy next door whom they could have found just as easily without a matchmaker's help.

    2) By Mrs. Pope's own admission, her matchmaking clientele consisted of far more women than it did men.
    That alone put her female clientele at a disadvantage, which makes her business practice somewhat questionable.
    She knew full well that the number of women who would actually find a suitable mate through her business were limited. Nonetheless, she had no problem taking their money and then coldly telling them that they were delusional and demanding.

    3) The most pertinent questions a person going to a matchmaker needs to ask are whether the matchmaker already has a sizable pool of men and women that meet certain criteria and whether any of these men or women have already expressed interest in or are open to a man or woman with the former's characteristics, all of which an honest, reputable matchmaker should be willing to answer truthfully before demanding money in advance to start the job.
    When you go to a retail store, you are not chastised for asking the store clerk, staff, manager, or owner if they have a certain item in stock before shopping from them.
    They are more than happy to answer you truthfully.
    They never say, "Please put down this amount of money and then we will check to see if we have that in stock." only to later come to you and say, "You know we have this and your expectations of what we should have in stock for you are unrealistic."

  2. woman out number men 3 to 1 so who are woman looking for. most men are incarcerated, gay or dead so i am pretty sure that number of men is way lower. so what men are the female picking from.

  3. Any matchmaker who is saying this foolishness to women (from whom I assume she is taking money), is not worth her salt. Obviously the men she is matching do not meet any kind of standards! So instead of talking to the men to improve them, or locking up shop, she is gaslighting women.

  4. I am 5-7 and my wife is 5-10 and she was not going to let me go bc of my height I meet 90% of her requirements and she doesn’t care what anybody thinks. I think a lot of relationships are based on society

  5. I think my mother and my step dad been in a terrible marriage, they been together for 25 years and I never seen this man even hug my mom, let alone kiss her, the been together since I was 9…im 40 now…I think he just been living off my mother, because she's been successful as a hospital administrator…and the thing is I found myself doing what he did in a relationship…

  6. As black people we lost, our culture, that's why are dating and love relationships are all screwed up if you ask me…but I feel you, I'm learning a lot from these videos.

  7. This Woman is seasoned Properly in the Game without a doubt in my Mind. Unlettered Men really are running Game on Women with College Degrees. I'm a Unlettered Man with Knowledge about the Game without a doubt in my Mind. I'm a Learned Man with some Book knowledge and experience from the Street life in America.

  8. Matchmakers with bad people skills and a disregard for women seem to be the norm these days.
    I have a friend who married a guy she tollerated and now all I hear is what her husband buys for her and cutting remarks about singles. People like that need others to do what they do, individuality is threatening to someone who is trying to reassure themselves they made the right decision.
    I can see what her client base would be like, entitled. Somehow the kind of men who buy into that rhetoric think they're just competing with other men, they don't understand the level they're at women are also comparing them to being single.
    As for the women who do have unrealistic standards the few I have met were a little light in the upstairs department, who to date was the least of their worries. Seems to me the problem isn't romantic market value so much as women not weighing opportunity costs against sunk costs and men not understanding the concept of an investment multiplier.

  9. To the little monkey who demanded a reply to his comment – fuck you. I reply when I damn feel like it, and only when I feel like it. If I ignore you, it means what you were talking about is so stupid it doesn't deserve a response, let alone an entire video. You are seriously all on your own jock.

  10. So women in general don't have unrealistic standards? I can point out many videos of single mothers not willing to settle for less unless their dream man must do this, must do that, must make this, must make her feel this, must make her feel that, must make her feel like a queen, he must work on himself to get fit, they never say one thing on what they will do for their dream man, or what qualities that she has that will attract her dream man. It's always me, me, me. And my dream man must do, do, do, do. That's not unrealistic? Okay whatever, keep on selling your pipe dreams

  11. Here are some tips for women/ girls
    How to find good boys/men (traits) for ladies only (not hoe):
    1. Confidence, most of girls and some women mistaken confidence with arrogance and cockiness. Some good boys and most men are confidence, but strangely when it come to the girl/ women he like, he will say that he like you with shyness or awkwardness. And most girl/ women natural response will be decline him or put him in friend zone. My suggestion, do not decline him but rather give him chance for 3-4 months and tell him that if it not work out, the romance relation is over.
    2. Kindness, good boy/men will be kind toward their mother/ father, family and others too, but most times will be sweet toward you (because you special to him) and you will find it nagging (most women want good man, but insecure women disrespect men who treat them nice), just tell him to act casual and not always so sweet.
    3. Ambitious, most good men are ambitious but because he have empathy and well manner, to gain his ambition he will avoid breaking rules and hurt others if he can, you might see him less ambitious.
    4. Commitment and responsibility, most good men are in to commitment and responsible. Most girls and some women strangely see this trait in negative way, most girls and some women sometimes afraid of it.
    5. Compromise able, most good men/ boys are able to compromise. Just tell him directly with respect and reason.

    Usually good men want in women:
    1. Not necessarily hot/ good looking, but clean/ can take care her own body.
    2. Can nurture him to be better man (since most men mature late until age of 40) and willing to grow together.
    3. Feminine motherly type, since good man want to have children with you.
    4. Women can nag, but not to often. Don't unnecessarily test your man, instead you two can have reasonable conversation over something, but don't push too much (especially shouting to your man). Man can stand harsh behavior from other, but will be hurt badly if someone he love harsh to him.
    5. Women who do house chores. Most good men can do chores too and willing to, but if you find him exhausted let him rest. If you need help just ask directly since most men can't understand your signal.
    If women can do that, good men literally willing to die for you and his family (if necessary).

  12. Options for girls and women:
    1. Stay single for the rest of her life without children
    2. Have children trough sperm bank and out of wedlock relationship or adopt children
    3. Married to eligible men (will be scarce)
    4. Sharing a husband (polygyny)
    5. Become someone mistress in adultery or steal a husband
    6. Become public property
    7. Become lesbian

  13. Let me get this straight, college degree, no record, ambitious, not obsessed with keeping me in a kitchen, nice, cute, quiet is high standards. Oh well, let it be.

  14. Every woman I have dated in the past always complained that I never texted or called enough. Women know what they want.

    Women should look at who is married and who is not.

  15. wait did she just say ("if a man comes to her talking about some GOD shit her respect and admiration for him goes underground") wow really any person that doesn't know and respect GOD cant be taken seriously

  16. both men and women can have this unrealistic view of relationships that's my unbiased opinion im 24. if both sides developed themselves and elevate themselves mentally physically emotionally and spiritually i guarantee they wont have any problems dating or getting married or living their dream with their dream mate. basically you cant raise your standard till you elevate yourself

  17. I noticed that the 90's trend of black women lowering thier standards created weak less than average black men. I feel men were more honorable in the past over all. I blame sista soldja for writing some book saying we need to marry janitors and men who are not interested in education, owning a business or bettering themselves on any level.
    She assumed these guys will have the same values as a person who sees his role as a man as a provider and works towards that. Allot of those guys are as bad as any more successful guy except they are broke and can't broaden your horizonthats. I'm not sure when the idea of settling because black men are discriminated against or inherently dysfictional due to slavery came about. Sista Soldja's book was far back as I can remember. I was a kid and i saw her style and her voice as a bit hood.

  18. +Deborrah Cooper This woman has not even bothered to acknowledge or call out the hate directed at black women in that comment thread. And she has been reading comments because she responded to them. She stays silent on the hatred, so that tells me all I need to know about her true intentions. She's not in this to help black girls or women. She is in this to cash in on the misogyny in social media. I cannot believe that she hasn't heard what's going on with black men online. Nonsense. She hopes to capitalize on anti-black women hate.

  19. Deb I have been watching your videos for about 6 months now and I MUST tell you that……

    As a 26 year old black woman you have opened my eyes and my mind to SO MUCH. Listening to your videos has changed my dating life FOR THE BETTER.

    I have played some of your videos to my 18 year old sister as she is going off to college and starting to date. She loves you too!

    I wish I had these lessons when I was 17. Oh well. At least I found you at 25 and not 45.

    Keep up the work.

  20. This is the type of shit that keeps most black American women single, THE ATTITUDE….this is that female fuckery shit……so far how has this been working for y'all?????

  21. Hey Deborrah 😊! What do you think about people saying unattractive men make the best boyfriends because they will be lucky to have you? Do you think this is true?

  22. So men complain about women not settling for them, but then they also complain about women divorcing them at record numbers. Settling leads to misery and divorce. Why would you even want to be settled for and not loved?? I don't understand it. Don't expect to be happy in that relationship. If a woman settled for you, then you should settle for getting the bare minimum from her because that's all you're going to get (until she leaves you for a man she actually loves). Don't be on YouTube years later complaining about how she won't "submit" to you or has an attitude. You wanted a woman, you got one. If you don't want to do what it takes to actually get a woman's love, then don't bitch about it later.

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