Mom And Dad Didn’t Ask For This

The last time I had a hug was when my friend left for college in August. Even then, it was just a quick embrace that friends give each other.
Hugging makes me feel so uncomfortable. My mom and dad used to hug me, but I pulled away, so they haven’t tried in a long time.

I know I sound silly, but I don’t like being touched. My friends will ask why occasionally, but I shrug. I can’t tell them the truth. I can’t tell them that when I was 11, I was raped, and from that moment I haven’t been able to accept affection from people.

Believe me, I want it so bad I could cry. In fact, I’m crying right now, but I just don’t know how to let people hold me like that. Especially the ones I love. It was nine years ago that it happened, and although he still haunts my dreams, I’m not going to let him ruin my life anymore.