Im a lesbian, but …

I’m a lesbian – but, I am attracted to gay men. This doesn’t make any sense. I guess its cause they act more like girls.

I lost my virginity to my best friend – a gay man. It didn’t make any sense. But, I loved him so much. He didn’t love me and was moreover was really horny and trying to have sex with a woman so that he could be straight because he thought it would make his life easier.

Afterwards, he basically told me that he didn’t love me and the sex was meaningless.

I spent the next 4 years trying to make him happy. I was never able to succeed. But we were still best friends.

Eventually he got a boyfriend that he fell in love with. He then told me that he didn’t want to be friends with me and that our relationship had been downhill ever since we had had sex.

I still love him – even though that was 3 years ago and I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 years. I still dream about him at least once a month.

He won’t even talk to me and now lives far away.